Using sports to teach healthy competition case

'Tis the season for fall sports - if parents spend more time on sports or games that units spend at home. In the game, parents enthusiastically cheering squad for their children and discuss the game on the journey home. While most parents have good intentions, may inadvertently discourage a child and foster unhealthy competition, if you do not choose their words carefully.

First, define the difference between "healthy" and "unhealthy"Competition:

A healthy competition is focused on doing his best, have fun, and learning ability. It promotes teamwork and positive participation. Those who make a strong effort to improve the rule and groped in advance. If learning is to improve or destination, the children get more. If you happen to win, is on the cake.

Unhealthy competition focuses on the extraction, best, or to be better than others. The pressure to win is moreimportant that the fun of playing or learning to learn. If children are stretched to do their best, but still lose, "" may still feel like a failure. You can lose lose important lessons to teach them how to win, as is the goal.

There are three ways in which parents tend to promote unhealthy competition:

"Many parents encourage them to act up! Motivate Racing race children in both" The first victory at the end! "Normally, losing the younger or weaker children,disappointing that the longer a child. Racing is different from anything to do with fast without winners. "Let's see how many toys we can get the first song is over."

Compare Compare unhealthy competition to encourage everyone. Negative comparisons, like "I wish you could be more like John," are not motivating. They make children feel inferior and are daunting. Children usually mean the other child, even if the child does not participate in the comparison. This increasescompetition and rivalry between them.

positive comparisons are also problematic. If we want to build the children, trying to increase down the other, we are the child's ego, not his self-esteem. Children feel sorry for the child to feel more or less the child so presumptuous. Children can also feel the pressure to always be better than others.

Whenever you try to compare a child have to remember this rule of thumb by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, inSiblings without rivalry book: Whatever you want to say a child can be told directly, without reference to another child.

Even if parents do not compare with each other, children can compare how they compete for a place in the family or peer groups. If a child is good in some areas, could believe that another child was taken on the role and pursue something else - even if they are interested in this activity!

When children are compared to focus onChild feelings, interests or power, no comparisons. For example, if a child says: "Susan is so played a good violin. Will I ever be as good as you" can say to parents: "As Susan plays has nothing to do with whether you should play or not. If you want play the violin, do it! "

bad example: Most parents know that when competition is not healthy encourages selfishness and poor sportsmanship. Unfortunately, in their enthusiasm, some parents model poorSportsmanship by standing on the sidelines shouting insults to the referees and their children. These parents teach their children to apologize or blame others for their mistakes. They are also an embarrassment to their children and a nuisance to other parents who want encouraging.

If you cry during a game, make it encouraging: "Way to go!" "Nice kick!" "Keep it up!" If you see something that needs to be improved and remain silent, you can not say what to do with children in anpositive: "Spread out!" "Work together!" "Center it!"

After an event, please limit your comments to descriptions of how the child or the team did well, made an effort, or improved. Focus not only on the score or the outcome. When the children to educate them to recognize their feelings and to comment on or improve their efforts.

In the long run, households, increased attention from the competition, usually the differences and resentment among family members. Families, promotingbest efforts focus on improving skills and doing his best usually have children, others are more trusting and collaborative with.